Still recovering from that tragedy, Edward Malus receives a letter from his ex-girlfriend Willow asking him to come to a private island called Summersisle off the coast of Washington to help find her missing daughter. Having absolutely no clue what hes getting himself into, Edward travels to Summersisle unprepared for the bizarre community who call the island home.
Summersisle is populated by women who engage in ancient rituals, spend their days caring for the islands main resource (honeybees), and treat men as second-class citizens. All the women are referred to as Sister This or Sister That, while the men are there only for heavy labor and to service the needs of the women wink wink.
Officer Malus quickly figures out hes in way over his head. These women are not to be trifled with yet Malus, a firm believer in the power of the law, continues to flash his badge believing that will actually cause the women to open up about the whereabouts of the young girl. Hes not even able to get his ex-flame Willow to give him any real leads to work off of. As Malus level of frustration rises, his actions become less like those of any trained law enforcement officer and more like a man stumbling around blindly in some creepy alternate universe.
Cages Malus screams, waves his gun, beats up women, lands a few wicked karate kicks, and ultimately runs around like a crazy man in a bear suit an absolutely ridiculous scene and one that had me on the verge of tears from laughing so hard. How did things go so horribly wrong?
Ellen Burstyn as the Queen Bee of the isle fares only slightly better than Cage. At least Burstyns spared much of the humiliation of having to utter massive amounts of silly dialogue by only being on screen maybe 15 or so minutes.
The Bottom Line
LaButes PG-13 version doesnt do justice to the source material. The writer/director has robbed the story of any suspense and sanitized the sexuality. In fact, LaBute should have written a climatic scene featuring anything other than a gigantic man made out of wicker and completely dropped The Wicker Man title.
My suggestion: watch the trailer for the 06 Wicker Man, skip the theatrical release (and even the DVD), and check out the original film starring Christopher Lee and Edward Woodward.
The Wicker Man was directed by Neil LaBute and is rated PG-13 for disturbing images and violence, language and thematic issues.