'The Last Song' Movie Review

It's gotten to the point where if you've seen one film based on a Nicholas Sparks book, you've seen them all. And that applies more so than ever to The Last Song, a limp effort cobbled together from bits and pieces of Sparks' previous stories. No need to write out a detailed synopsis of this movie because if you're familiar with any of Sparks' books, or their film adaptations, you've seen the story of The Last Song done before, and done much better.

In fact, this is basically Dear John with a volleyball-playing college-bound rich kid (Liam Hemsworth) in place of a guitar-playing college bound rich kid (Amanda Seyfried), and a rebellious musical prodigy estranged from her dad (Miley Cyrus) in place of a rebellious teen-turned-soldier estranged from his dad (Channing Tatum). Both The Last Song and Dear John, which just came out on February 5th and is still fresh in moviegoers' minds, have beach scenes with water dripping off some beautiful bodies. And in addition to the aforementioned similarities, both films involve a character with a deadly disease. But, at least Dear John did a decent job of setting up the 'meet cute', whereas The Last Song makes the initial meeting between the two would-be young lovers completely unbelievable and silly.

And, actually, that describes everything about The Last Song: unbelievable and silly. Strangers become instant friends. The new girl in town may be cute, but she's a standoffish brat (that's putting it gently) so why is everyone dying to be this girl's friend? She's withdrawn, pouty, and just annoying...where's the appeal? And that's one of the main problems with The Last Song. The main character is not someone you can care about or root for, and in this sort of film, you absolutely have to feel empathy for the lead or the movie's dead in the water. And The Last Song takes on water early.

Nothing about The Last Song rings true. Sparks and co-writer Jeff Van Wie have loaded this melodrama with cookie cutter characters and movie clichés. There's the drug dealer who abuses his girlfriend, the snotty rich parent who looks down on her child's choice of girlfriend, a bitchy ex-girlfriend who tries to break the new couple up, and a wiser-than-his age younger brother who acts more responsibly than the adults. There's a death of a family member that's caused a strain in the family (by the way, this was played out much better recently in Remember Me). And the capper, the absolute moment in the movie when it was made clear The Last Song was hitting all the sour notes? The dreaded 'Changing Room Montage'. Check off that box, The Last Song has one.

Characters float in and out, behaving as you'd expect them to do (because you've seen their types a million times before), making little impression - other than that kid brother who's actually the best thing about this movie. Oh, and to tear at the hearts of animal lovers, there's even a nest of sea turtles that has to be protected. Because, of course, the handsome stud at the heart of the film not only excels at beach volleyball and works at a garage or something similar to show he's just a regular dude despite all of his family's money, but also volunteers at the aquarium in his free time. He's just too good to be true. Seriously, just too good to be true.

What's Greg Kinnear doing in this movie? Although thank goodness he's in it, because he adds a little class to the film. If it weren't for he and Bobby Coleman, the 12 year old actor who plays the smart younger brother, The Last Song would really be torturous. Although, that said, the jury's still out on Liam Hemsworth. I think it's unfair to judge him by The Last Song as he's not given anything at all to work with, and yet there are flashes of real talent there, particularly in the scenes with Hemsworth and Kinnear or Coleman. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt this time, as any of his shortcomings might just be the material. That, and the fact he's new to Hollywood. It could just be a case of rookie nerves and having to try to bring to life such a bland character.

The same excuses can't be made for entertainment industry veteran Miley Cyrus. I've read that Cyrus' supposedly ready to take a break from music to make more films. And to that I say, "Not so fast, Miley..." Cyrus might want to get a few more years under her belt before turning her attention full-time to acting. Unless, that is, she's going to concentrate on comedies or musicals. Hannah Montana the Movie was actually fun, and Cyrus did a decent job transitioning with her small screen character to the big screen. But drama just isn't her thing, at least right now.

The Last Song is like one of those annoying tunes you've heard so many times before that when it comes on the radio, you immediately switch stations. There's nothing fresh here, nothing that sets The Last Song apart. By the time The Last Song plays its final note, I was completely ready to be done with this tune.

GRADE: D-

The Last Song was directed by Julie Anne Robinson and is rated PG for thematic material, some violence, sensuality and mild language.

Theatrical Release: March 31, 2010

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