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'The Hangover' Movie Quotes

Quotes from One of 2009's Biggest - and Best - Comedies


'The Hangover' Movie Quotes
© Warner Bros Pictures Ed Helms in The Hangover

Ed Helms in 'The Hangover'

© Warner Bros Pictures

It's not exaggerating to say Warner Bros Pictures' The Hangover was one of the biggest surprises of 2009. The R-rated comedy took the box office by storm and before it left theaters, The Hangover broke the record for the biggest box office take of any R-rated comedy.

Starring Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, and Justin Bartha, The Hangover is a roadtrip/buddy comedy set in Vegas in which everything that could go wrong goes wrong. But, hey, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...right?

The Hangover Quotes:

Alan (Zach Galifianakis): "Whatever happens tonight, I won't ever ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone. You heard me, it's Sin City."

Sid (Jeffrey Tambor): "Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for Herpes. That shit'll come back with you."

Phil (Bradley Cooper): "Paging Dr. Faggot, Dr. Faggot!"

Alan: "That's right. You better walk on. I'll hit an old man in public."

Doug (Justin Bartha): "Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much."
Phil: "Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and sh-t."

Alan: "It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane." (commenting on the legalities of counting cards)

Alan: "Well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man…because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a retard."

Alan: "Hey, guys. You ready to let the dogs out?"

Alan: "I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack."

Alan: (Responding to finding a baby in the closet) "Check its collar or something."

Stu (Ed Helms): "I look like a nerdy hillbilly."

Alan: "Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon."

Dr Valsh (Matt Walsh): (Phil asks the doctor if he knows how to get to the chapel) "I do. It's at the corner of get a map and f--k off."

Alan: (Talking about burning the cop car) "Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret, light it on both ends, put it in."

Stu: "We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?"
Alan: "I think the cop car part's pretty cool."
Phil: "Thank you Alan!"

Alan: "It would be so cool if I could breast-feed."

Alan: "I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust."

Stu: "You f--king calm down. He drugged us. I lost a tooth. I married a whore."

Stu: "You are literally too stupid to insult." (to Alan)

Black Doug (Mike Epps): "I always wondered why they were called ruffies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call 'em floories."

Alan: "Oh, you know what? Next week's no good...the Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine."


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