'Repo Men' Movie Review

Repo Men has Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, and Liev Schreiber in starring roles. It also has lots of action, blood, guts, gore, and bodies mutilated using a wide assortment of unusual weapons. In one particularly gruesome scene, a hacksaw is even put to use to dispatch bad guys. And after sitting through this preposterous and ponderous production, I'm ready to take that hacksaw to all Repo Men prints.

It's one of those films where the more you think about it, the more you realize just how ludicrous and ill-conceived it actually is. If only it would have lived up even slightly to its potential, Repo Men could have been an involving and timely cautionary tale. But it's not smart, the action scenes are a mess, and after setting up the premise in the first 15 minutes, Repo Men completely loses its way.

Not even Law, Whitaker and Schreiber can salvage much out of Repo Men. Their characters are so pitifully underdeveloped it's a wonder any of these actors signed on to this R-rated sci-fi action film in the first place.

The Story

Remy (Law) and Jake (Whitaker) have been buddies since back in the days when they'd beat the crap out of each other on their elementary school playground. They grew up together, went to war together, and both became repo men for The Union together. The Union makes its money selling artificial organs to dying people who are willing to pay astronomical amounts in order to get healthy. The catch? If they fail to make their payments, repo men are sent out to retrieve these high-priced organs.

Remy's wife, Carol (Carice van Houten), wants him to leave the repo business in favor of being a salesman for The Union. It would mean a cut in pay, but the hours are better and he wouldn't have to go around killing people for a living. Remy wants to make his wife and young son happy, so he's ready to ask his boss, the sleazy, slimy head salesman Frank (Schreiber), for a reassignment. But Jake doesn't want to lose his partner, and does whatever's necessary to thwart Remy's plans to talk to Frank. But eventually Jake gives in when Remy explains just how important this is to his family. And with Frank and Jake's blessings, Remy heads off to do one last job.

At the home of a musician who's past due on his payments, Remy uses a defibrillator to stop the delinquent client's heart. However things go horribly wrong, and Remy's zapped and knocked unconscious, only to awaken in the hospital with one of The Union's artificial hearts keeping him alive.

After a brief period of recuperation, Remy's back out on the streets to collect past due organs. But his heart's no longer in the work [pun intended] and he finds himself empathizing with these people he used to be able to slice and dice without giving a second thought to. And as fate would have it, Remy soon finds out what it's like to be on the receiving end of past due bills...

The Bottom Line

Jude Law and Forest Whitaker are fine as partners, and Schreiber plays a slimeball well. Alice Braga shows up as a love interest for Remy in the second half of the film, and there's actually some good chemistry between she and Law. But no matter how much effort these actors are obviously putting into the film - these are not phoned in performances - the result is a lackluster science fiction film that's frustrating and literally makes no sense whatsoever.

Repo Men goes from bad to worse the farther along it plods - and I do mean plods. The pacing is painfully slow. And from the moment Remy gets hurt at work, the plot becomes totally nonsensical. Remy's critically injured while on the job and is forced into accepting an artificial heart while he's in a coma. Now I'm not saying that, in this future, worker's compensation is still in effect, but does it make any sense that he's charged full price for this costly organ and is subject to the same payment penalties as those who aren't employed by The Union? No, it doesn't. Remy's supposedly one of the best at what he does, a hard worker who doesn't cause problems and is dedicated to his job, yet this company he works for that makes the artificial organs doesn't pay for his medical care? I know, I know...it's making a statement about the health care system. But it just doesn't ring true and if you don't buy that scene, the rest of the film is a complete waste of time. So, to me, Repo Men was in fact a waste of two hours of my day.

Logic doesn't apply in the world of Repo Men, yet it takes itself so seriously you have to assume the screenwriters and director believe they've delivered a smartly crafted plot. The problem is the screenplay reads like it was divided into segments and given to different writers to tackle. The continuity is not there, the film doesn't progress in any sort of logical manner, and the result is a movie that's totally disjointed. Even the big twist at the end is more of a cop out than the mind-blower it's obviously intended to be.

GRADE: D+

Repo Men was directed by Miguel Sapochnik and is rated R for strong bloody violence, grisly images, language and some sexuality/nudity.

Theatrical Release: March 19, 2010