20th Century Fox stole a page from the recent press tour in support of their smash hit Borat and used it to promote the comedy film Reno 911!: Miami. The stars of the TV comedy series transition to the big screen with Miami and while doing press for the film, each and every one of them remained in character.
At a press conference in Hollywood, the film’s cast showed up ready to roll and more than prepared to respond to questions as their characters would. Fielding questions about Reno 911! Miami were deputies Cherisha Kimball (Mary Birdsong), Raineesha Williams (Niecy Nash), Trudy Wiegel (Kerry Kenney-Silver), Travis Junior (Robert Ben Garant), James Garcia (Carlos Alazraqui), S Jones (Cedric Yarbrough), Clementine Johnson (Wendi McLendon-Covey) and Lieutenant Jim Dangle (Thomas Lennon).
There’s absolutely no way to make any sense out of the press conference other than to put it up in transcript style and even that makes almost no sense, so good luck reading the following Reno 911! Miami interviews.
Lt Jim Dangle: “First, I would like to say before we get going, we feel like we have been grossly misrepresented by the Fox people. We’re not robots. We’re not perfect robots made of wires and chips. We have foibles and we feel like we’ve been misrepresented. There’s a lot of times a solid – a solid 30% of the time – we’re giving 110%. So the thing about that…”
Deputy S Jones: “It’s about 34%.”
Lt Jim Dangle: “33 or 34% of the time. You’re not seeing that. What you’re seeing is boogery, incompetence, and the times that we actually have to blow something up. That’s what you’re seeing. We don’t get a say in the editing. What they do is they take all the footage, they hand it over to Danny DeVito. He’s drunk on Limoncello and then he cobbles it together into a menagerie of lies. And I know that menagerie was not the word I was looking for there but I’m going to just stick with it.”
Deputy Travis Junior: “Cornucopia was a good word.”
Deputy S Jones: “Cobble was good too. I like cobble.”
Lt Jim Dangle: “So let’s open it up.”
Press - For a lot of people from around the world, their impression of the police department of Miami comes from the TV show Miami Vice and Don Johnson. What did you think of the Miami Police Department and what was your impression of Miami when you were there?
Deputy Raineesha Williams: “Well if you saw the movie, then you know we didn’t even get to see the Miami Police Department because they were quarantined, smartypants!”
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: “I think he’s on our side.”
Deputy Raineesha Williams: “Oh, I’m sorry.”
Press - That’s okay.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: “Mr. Smartypants.”
Deputy Travis Junior: “I’m sure they’re all fine men and women that do the same type job that we do, albeit easier. Reno’s a hell town and they live in a paradise so how angry can people be there? Not as angry as in Reno, but I’m sure they’re fine men and women.”
Deputy Cherisha Kimball: “I do have to say I saw photographs of several Miami law enforcement officials and I was – disillusioned is probably a strong word – but they did not have pastel blazers, they did not wear muscle tees, and I didn’t know what to make of that.”
Lt Jim Dangle: “Where were you hanging out ‘cause where I was hanging out there was a lot of pastel blazers and muscle tees. I was at a place called 12 St. Beach. Have you been there? …It’s wonderful.”
Press - And your impression of Miami? I guess it’s a lot different than Reno. Is it a location that many of you would like to venture to again?
Deputy James Garcia: “Oh, hell yeah!”
Deputy Cherisha Kimball: “We’re not allowed to though, uh sir?”
Deputy Travis Junior: “They made it pretty clear they didn’t want us back.”
Lt Jim Dangle: “They would not like us back right away.”
Press - So then where will the next adventure take place?
Lt Jim Dangle: “Uh, we have been invited to go to Scotland Yard and I for one would love to see Scotland.”
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: “I’d like to see the yard. I don’t even have my own yard in Reno.”
Lt Jim Dangle: “Yeah, apparently it’s the largest yard they have. I look forward to wearing a kilt. I look forward to the giant log toss that they do. The gentlemen in Scotland – if you don’t know because you’re not cultured – wear skirts and they get together and have contests where they toss each other’s logs, and I look forward to that.”
Deputy Travis Junior: “I will not eat anything stuffed into an intestine though, no matter what they call it.”
Deputy Clementine Johnson: “And you can’t take the bus there.”
Deputy Raineesha Williams: “I don’t know if… if… if…”
Deputy Clementine Johnson: “We cannot take a bus to Scotland so we have to fly. That’s what I’m looking forward to.”
Deputy Raineesha Williams: “I don’t know if I’m really excited about any of it because I’m used to the criminals that I’m used to where I’m from. And in Miami, baby, these people are… they’re bronzed…”
Lt Jim Dangle: “Slippery.”
Deputy Raineesha Williams: “They’re lubed up.”
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: “Hairless.”
Deputy Raineesha Williams: “They smell of cocoanut oil. I mean they’re slippery and it’s hard to, you know, arrest them let alone you wanna give all of them your phone number.”
Lt Jim Dangle: “But it is fun to try to arrest them.”
Deputy James Garcia: “Always screaming, ‘Amnesty, amnesty!’ What the hell is that?”
