INTERVIEW WITH KEVIN SMITH:
What’s going on with the “Green Hornet” script? Have you finished it?
Oh God. You’re one of those people like my f***ing wife (laughing), like f***ing Harvey Weinstein. Everybody’s, “Did you finish the ‘Green Hornet’ script?” I will finish the “Green Hornet” script by November 1st. Right now it’s just f***ing vexing me. And everybody keeps asking me about it.
How far along are you?
I’m 100 pages in. And my wife was just like, “Well, great. So that means 20 pages until you are done.” I’m like, “I don’t think so. I think there’s another 100 pages left to tell the story.”
100 more pages?
Yeah. The first draft’s going to be thick. It’s going to be real thick, unfortunately. You just write and let the characters take you where you’re going to go. And it hasn’t taken me anywhere near the f***ing conclusion, which is frustrating but at the same time it’s good.
I was kind of wigged about it and I spoke to Quentin [Tarantino] about it. I went to see “Shaun of the Dead” up at Quentin’s house and I said, “Dude, I’m so like f***ing out of my skull about the ‘Green Hornet.’ I don’t know why it’s taken me so long and I don’t know if I can do this kind of s**t. I’m kind of thinking that maybe I’m not cut out for this at all.” He was like, “Just think about it like you’re writing a comic book miniseries. Just pretend that DC hired you to write the ‘Green Hornet’ and you’ve got to turn in a comic book miniseries.” I was like, “Yeah, but it’s too long.” He said, “There’s no such thing. That’s never a problem. If a script is too long, you can hack it down. The problem is when a script’s too short.”
Like a "Kill Bill" situation…
That’s what I said. “Dude, we can’t all cut a film into two volumes.” He said, “But you know what I mean. It doesn’t matter how long it is. It’ll be shaped into whatever the movie is.” So that was helpful. And then I went home and wrote another 50 pages so I felt pretty good.
What about the rumors of your involvement in a “Star Wars” TV series?
I read those as well. It’s so weird, isn’t it? I thought it was weird.
You’re not going to do it? Or you’re not going to talk about?
(Smiling) I’ve got nothing to say, really.
Would it interest you?
Sure. Who wouldn’t want to run a “Star Wars” TV show?
I read you’d like to do a follow-up of “Dogma” but it will never happen. What’s keeping you from doing that?
Yes. God, you read that s**t? I don’t think anyone would ever finance it.
Even if Miramax separates from Disney?
Maybe in that instance. But even then, it would be more expensive than the first one. It would have to go up because it’s a sequel, and I don’t know. It would take me a little while to put it together. Right now it’s just not anything I’m thinking about.
Why did you decide to do a sequel to “Clerks?”
I just felt like I wanted to. The boys - Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes, and myself – are all coming back. We were working on the “Clerks X” DVD and I just kind of fell in love with the movie again and felt like, “You know, I’d really like to see what happened to these dudes 10 years later.” So I started writing it and it just came out. It was also kind of in the wake of “Jersey Girl” where I just felt like I love “Jersey Girl,” it was a very sweet movie, but at the same time it’s the kind of movie that you feel really squeaky clean after making. I just wanted to kind of dive back into the muck for a little while. Get a little dirty.
What happens if the follow-up doesn’t satisfy the fans? “Clerks” has such a cult following.
I mean for me, that’s the thing. If you kind of invest a lot in the reaction of everybody else, you go f***ing crazy. If invested a lot in the reaction of the audience, I’d probably open my wrist after “Jersey Girl.” But for me it’s like, does it satisfy me? Am I happy with it? I mean right now in the script stage, I’m totally happy with it.
You and Richard Kelly did a commentary track for the "Donnie Darko" DVD for the UK. Will you be doing one for the US release?
We did it it’s just that the US one isn’t out yet. When I did it, it was under the understanding that it was for the US release. I think the British release went first. When they release the "Director’s Cut" DVD that commentary track will be on it, unless I’ve been misinformed.
And one “Surviving Christmas”-inspired question: can this movie teach us how to love again?
Yeah. It will teach us how to love Ben Affleck again. God willing, it will teach somebody how to love Ben Affleck again. Ben Affleck needs a little love right now (laughing).
