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Moderator: What American person or people would you like to meet?
Borat: ”I would most like to meet some of the new Hollywood starlets. In particular, Elizabeth Taylor (growling). I would also like to meet fearless anti-Jew warrior, Melvin Gibson. We in Kazakhstan agree with his comments that the Jews started all wars and we also have proof that they were responsible for killing off all the dinosaurs. Also, Hurricane Katrina. They did it. It’s a long story.
I would also like to have an encounter with American football player, American football hero O.J. Simpson who is a huge star in my country and has earlier this year visited capital Almaty, where he judged the Ms. Kazakhstan contest. Our ladies very much like this muscular man, ya? One contestant was so crazy on him that she breaked into his hotel room while he was sleeping. She then stab herself to death and covered his clothes in blood. Fanatic!”
Moderator: Was there any specific movies that inspired your film and what films do you admire?
Borat: “What’s your name again?”
Moderator: Michael.
(Borat has Kazakh interchange with producer)
Borat: “In Kazakhstan, we are huge fannies of U, S of A movies. And we have shown this by manufacturing pirate DVDs of many of them. We like movies of funny man Edward Murphy. We in Kazakhstan laugh very much when we see his chocolate face, ya? It is unusual. The color! Other American films we like are Robocop, Titanic and the sex comedy, The Accused. That scene on the snookie table…”
Moderator: How will the release of your movie affect your life in Kazakhstan?
Borat: “You know, I try to stay a normal person. I like to relax like any other married man. I shoot dogs. I receive a open mouth party for my sister and I like to drink fermented horse urine with the boys. I just a regular guy. But, I am proud of my status. I am now the fourth most famous person in all of Kazakhstan. Number three is ex-Olympic gymnast who now perform in the state circus where she is famous for being able to put one foot in her mouth while the other is in vajeen. It’s incredible!
Number two is our glorious Premier, Nursultan Nazarbayev. And number one is children’s favorite animal actor, Jerry the Monkey who, as you may know, was the star of Torotabilski Express and many, many other pornos. But, it’s not just me that has changed. Kazakhstan has improved very much since I return from U, S and A. We recently introduced the death penalty from your country. Great idea! We give it for serious crimes such as murder, cleaning anus with our national flag and baking bagels.”
Moderator: What are your future projects?
Borat: “I, eh, not sure exactly when I will next make a movie film, because for the next 18 months my country’s camera is fully booked for make other television shows. This include programs such as Kazakhstan’s Next Top Prostitute and the comedy film about the person who waited very late in his life to make ‘sexy time.’ It’s called The 4-Year—Old Virgin. Almost 5 and he never make achee! Little explosion.”
Moderator: Has working on a big movie changed your opinion of women? Did you have women on your crew?
Borat: “There is no women in Kazakh film industry. We say, ‘To give a woman a camera is like to give a monkey a gun.’ We have stopped doing that ever since the 2003 Almatyi Zoo massacre.”
Moderator: I think everybody wants to know about the status of your relationship with Pamela Anderson. Do you still enjoy watching Baywatch and will she be at your premiere?
Borat: "I must make clear this lady, Pamela, has start to stalk me as you say. Already this week she has sent me three love messages through her lawyer. Saying sexy things like, ‘I must not go further than 30 miles from her house, mail her dirty antipants or say on my MySpace bloggings that I want to make romance inside her.’ Pamela, if you watch this, leave me alones. Ah, she will not be arrive at the premiere, no.”
Moderator: You have a very prominent page on MySpace. What do you think of the Internet? And have you tried Internet dating?
Borat: "I have tried hard on the Internet to meet a nice Western girlies for chitchat and sexy times. My preferences is ladies with yellow hair, plow experience and little or no history of retardation in family. I have even offer television with remote control, a red dress and two strong shoes, all of which I will remove from the body of my late wife. But, in return I insist that they will not cheat on me. I must say I am the second Kazakh man ever on MySpaces. The first was the Minister of Agriculture, Moorat Sukeyev, but his page was taken down because of a sex crime. It is no problem, he is now posing as Johnny Texas, age 11. He has already received 200 messages from your Mr. Foley.”
Page 3: Borat on the Kazakh Government, DVD Plans, and Sacha Baron Cohen
