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Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) on "Borat"

A Totally Politically Incorrect Interview - Read at Your Own Risk

By

Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat

Sacha Baron Cohen in the movie "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan."

© 20th Century Fox
Borat Sagdiyev showed up for a press conference in Los Angeles to talk about his new movie, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Notice I didn’t say Sacha Baron Cohen appeared in front of the media as Borat to talk about his feature film. ‘Borat’ denies even knowing Cohen. Yes, it was that kind of an interview… Keep that in mind when you read the following unedited transcript from the LA press event.

With a portrait of Kazakhstan President Nursultan Nazarbayev on one side of the lectern and a poster from his movie on the other, Borat took center stage to answer questions put to him by a moderator. After being introduced to the assembled journalists – in the duo's ‘native’ tongue – by his producer, Azmat, Borat did his best to mangle the English language while tackling not-so-tough questions.

Borat: “Good evening, good morning, gentleman and prostitutes. A very nice to see so many smiling faces here today. Who are you?”

Moderator: “I am your moderator.”

Borat: “Yes, you are… I am a filming you!”

Moderator: First question – can you tell us about yourself?

Borat: [Indicating the moderator] “He’s not so intelligent, this one.

My name is Borat Sagdiyev. I a son of [Asim Balat Sagdiyev] and Boltolk the rapist. I am former husband of Osana Sagdiyev who was daughter of Mary Anne Pulakby and Boltolk the rapist. My hobbies is disco dance, table tennis and also taking photographs of ladies doing toilet without their knowledge. Why not? They do not know.”

Looking at his producer: “He is fat.”

Borat continued, “I have previous work as icemaker and gypsy catcher. And I was also work in computer maintenance. I was the one who paints the outside and then remove the dead bird from its pipes. You like the birds? I move on. I have three children. Bilalk, Bilam and Huey Lewis who is 12 years old. He has a two children. Bilalk who is 13 has American pen friend called Mr. Foley. (Laughs) He say meet in hotel room. Is nice! My sister make my family very proud by being number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. She recently received award from Kazakh Minister of Industry for best sex in mouth. I also who have a brother named Bilo. He is a retard with small head, but very strong arms. He has 204 teeth, 201 in mouth and three in nose. My first wife is dead. High five! (Laughs)”

Addressing a member of the media who was laughing particularly hard, "You kill your wife? I just don’t kill her. She was shoot by a hunter who mistake her for a bear because she has much hair on her arms and back. No problem. I have a new wife. But, I like cheat. Yes, I looking at you.”

To the moderator, “Can you ask another question?”

Moderator: You recently traveled to Washington to meet with President Bush. What is your opinion of our President?

Borat: “We in Kazakhstan very much admire your mighty warlord George Walter Bush. He is a very wise man and also a strong man. But, perhaps not as strong as his father Barbara. Next question.”

Moderator: How does Kazakhstan’s political system compare with America’s?

Borat: “There are small differences between our system of politic. In Kazakh elections, for example, the winner is not the man with the most votes, but the candidate who can carry a woman against her will for the furthest distance. Our present leader can manage 4.3 miles. How long can Premier Bush? There are other differences, too. In America, a woman can vote, but the horse cannot. That is unusual. We say in my country, ‘To give a woman a vote is like to let the monkey fly the plane.’ Very dangerous! We do not do this anymore since the 2001 OrexCa air crash.”

A Journalist: “What?”

Borat: “We do not let monkeys fly planes since the OrexCa air crash of 2001.”

A Journalist: “Do you let horses fly airplanes?”

Borat: “You remind me of my brother Bilo. Give him a banana.”

Moderator: Did you enjoy your time filming here?

Borat: “I would like say that I liking U, S and A a very much. Enjoy your peoples and enjoy your delicious food. First day I here, I go to restaurant named McDonalds, which is so fancy pants, it actually have a separate room for making toilet in. There I eat 17 hamburgers and 600 packets of red soup called ketchup. These did not agree so much with my stomach and the next day my anus was hang loose like the mouth of a tired dog. But, I learn many things that is different than one I expect from your country. For example, I was surprised to learn it is now illegal to shoot at Red Indians. Once again, if anyone watching this, I would like to apologize with all my heart to Chief Running Deer at the Potawatomi Casino in Nevada.”

Page 2: Borat on Mel Gibson, OJ Simpson, and Life in Kazakhstan

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