Product placements, quick music video-style cutting, tons of explosions, storylines that go nowhere, and nonsensical dialogue add up to one big downer for fans of the Blade series. You know theres trouble in Blade-land when the audience laughs at the explosions and at Parker Poseys hair more than they do at the lines that were intended to be jokes. And while we're on the topic of Parker Posey, what the heck was she thinking? Shes ridiculously out of place in Blade: Trinity. Posey has trouble talking around her vampire teeth and moving around in her vampire costumes. Normally a decent actress, Poseys performance is just squirm-inducing uncomfortable to watch.
As far as the story goes, its pretty much the usual Blade fare with Snipes kicking butt on vampires and others who stand in his way, look at him wrong, or just meet up with him when hes in a particularly foul mood. In order to get butts in the seats, writer/director David Goyer added two young hot bodies to help out the veteran vampire killer. Jessica Biel stars as Whistlers daughter, Abigail, and Ryan Reynolds co-stars as Hannibal King, a reformed vampire who now slays the fanged ones while tossing out witty quips. Just how someone becomes a reformed vampire isnt addressed, but Im thinking that story must have been more interesting than the plot of Blade: Trinity.
Reynolds Hannibal King is there for comic relief, a fact which annoys Snipes/Blade as much as its bound to annoy the audience after a while. Though Reynolds lines do hit the mark more often than not, the humor is forced and grows old by the movies mid-point. Its like Reynolds is wearing a big flashing neon clown sign. You cant really expect subtle performances in a Blade movie, but you can expect Goyer, the man who wrote all the Blade movies, to appreciate what worked in the first two movies and understand how the comedy in the first two films worked because it wasnt telegraphed in advance by the appearance of one particular character.
The big bad in this Blade is Dracula himself (Dominic Purcell) who looks more like a hybrid version of a Predator than a vampire. A gang of vamps, led by Parker Poseys character, dig up the old guy and need him to stop Blade from eliminating the vampires. Blade has to face-off with Dracula and inject him with a serum thatll destroy all the vampires - or something of the sort. By the time the blind scientist explained what was supposed to happen, Id tuned out most of the dialogue.
Reynolds and Biel add some spark to the franchise, and creating a spin-off with those two in the lead makes sense from a monetary point of view. The energy level and spirit of Blade: Trinity does kick up a beat whenever the film focuses on either of their characters. Theres no denying Reynolds and Biel look hot and can both handle the action sequences, and its possible they could carry a spin-off of Blade that with a good script would work better than the limping Trinity does.
And poor Wesley Snipes. He appears to be tired of the whole thing. Snipes doesnt phone in his performance, but the adrenaline rush of watching him in the first two Blade movies is gone. Scowling at his young co-stars onscreen, you cant help but feel Snipes would love to be anywhere but in another Blade film.
Blade: Trinity is filled with characters straight out of central casting. Youve got the affable boob, the muscular beauty who appears naked in a shower scene (dont get too worked up, its pretty tame), and the glowering Blade veteran who dislikes the young upstarts. Whats missing is any sort of coherent story that ties the leads together. Lightning quick cuts, explosions, fireballs, and special effects cant save Blade: Trinity from being a dull, disappointing conclusion to the Blade franchise.
"Blade: Trinity" was directed by David Goyer and is rated R for strong pervasive violence and language, and some sexual content.