When you pack a movie with the likes of Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Patricia Clarkson, and Mark Ruffalo, the resulting film should be anything but badly acted and tedious. So what went wrong? Why is
All the Kings Men an overblown, miscast disaster? The blame has to be shared by the screenwriter, director, editor, and those who decided to cast British actors as Southerners without demanding they get into character by adopting the appropriate accent.
I chose not to watch the 1949
Oscar classic again because I didnt want that version to taint my opinion of director Steven Zaillians take on
All the Kings Men. Zaillians film should be allowed to succeed or fail based on its own merit. And fail it does, quite miserably, but not simply because its a remake. Thats the least of its downfalls. Remakes dont necessarily automatically spell disaster in my book, but this is definitely a case where the first film spawned from the source material (Robert Penn Warrens Pulitzer Prize winning-novel) should have been allowed to go down in history as the only film adaptation of
All the Kings Men. I know Id like to forget having ever sat through this botched and bloated mess.
The Story
All the Kings Men follows the emergence of Willie Stark (Penn), an anonymous hick from the wrong side of the tracks, into one of the most powerful men in politics. Stark begins his political journey fighting corrupt officials and underhanded businessmen whose illegal doings result in the death of schoolchildren.

Sean Penn in All the King's Men.
© Sony Pictures
Starks soon tapped as a patsy by the power-hungry Tiny Duffy (James Gandolfini in a performance only the smallest step away from Tony Soprano). Tiny believes Stark is someone who can split the votes of the ignorant folks of the good state of Louisiana. But Tinys plans blow up big time when Stark learns from his confidant/pseudo moral compass, newspaper reporter Jack Burden (
Jude Law the films unenthusiastic narrator) that hes being used. At that point Stark begins his power-to-the-less-fortunate campaign in earnest, pledging to take down those who would take advantage of his people - the uneducated and underprivileged.
Stark ran his campaign on a pro-hick (as he refers to his constituents) platform however once hes elected governor, he transforms into exactly the sort of man he campaigned so stridently against. Stark uses and abuses his power, going from a soda pop-slurping family man to a philanderer willing to destroy his enemies by any means necessary, the laws and common decency be damned.
Acting and Direction
Some are calling Penns over-the-top turn as Stark Oscar-worthy. Im not one of those joining in the Oscar chorus. Posturing and pontificating to beat the band, arms flailing about all willy-nilly, Penns performance is so far off the scale of believability that it jarred me out of the film whenever he delivered a speech. His mannerisms were too distracting.
Zaillians decision to shoot Penn speaking on the capitol steps, lit in such a way that his shadow appears to be a separate character projected on the wall of the building, did absolutely nothing to enhance the scene. Because Penn's flailing around like a drowning man, his shadow seems to be doing a jig of its own on the building. That cant be what the director intended. And dont ask why, but the scene reminded me of that brief sequence in the original Exorcist where the clay statue comes to life and waves its arms, backlit by the setting sun. (See how much my mind was wandering during this yawner?)
Winslet pops in now and again as Anne Stanton, daughter of Louisianas deceased governor and high school (or maybe college) sweetheart of Jack Burden. A lot of who Winslets character is is left unexplained, and the actress is totally wasted in an unappealing, underdeveloped role.
The same goes for
Mark Ruffalo (the only one of the bunch able to do a Southern accent). Im laying odds 3/4 of his scenes are resting on the cutting room floor. What we see in the film cant be all there is to Ruffalos character. He flits in and out of the film a few times but never hangs around long enough for the audience to understand his motivations, which means that in the films final dramatic act, the audience is left with no explanation as what compelled him to action.
As with Ruffalo's role in All the King's Men, the majority of the side characters are frustratingly vague. Even Sir Anthony Hopkins doesnt escape from All the Kings Men untarnished. Hopkins is playing a moneyed Southern gentleman and doesnt even attempt to make his character sound like hes ever visited Louisiana.
The Bottom Line
All the Kings Men doesnt set up Starks turn to the dark side. One day hes preaching to the masses, the next hes bribing oil companies and checking out strippers. Wheres the middle ground? How does a man who begins the film as a struggling door-to-door salesman married to a schoolteacher all of a sudden do an about-face? The dots dont connect. The picture is exasperatingly incomplete.
Grade: D+