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John, did you know any families like this family your character was marrying into?
John: I grew up in West Virginia. I grew up in a town where there was a lot of Italians. It's kind of the same big family feel. I've been to a big Italian Catholic wedding. Wouldn't you say there's a similarity between a big Italian Catholic wedding and ours?
Nia: I love that actually. Yeah, it's Italian, it's Jewish… I did an interview with a Jewish guy from Philadelphia and he said, “How did you manage to spy on so many Jewish weddings?” Isn't that great? I love it.

In this film, the women are portrayed as 2nd class citizens. Is that how it is in most Greek families?
Nia: No, I actually tried to portray them in that the father thinks he is running the household, but the mother really is doing it. The father thinks he is running the restaurant, but it's really the mother doing the ordering. I didn't want to male-bash; I just wanted to show how strong the women were.

In terms of my generation, in that my character is expected to get married, yes - that is a given. There is a double standard and it stinks. You can either choose to be a victim in life or you can choose to see things that inspire you. Even though I was told, “You're too old to get married,” I laughed at it. I did not let it get me down.

Your character isn't expected to go to college or learn to use a computer. Would that be true in most Greek families?
Nia: Not in the Greek culture. I chose to make it in this family. My dad is very pro-education and always has been. He wasn't one of these people who said, “Why don't you just go to college just in case your husband dies.” He wasn't like that at all. I just chose to make it that Toula's life was a dead-end.

Can you talk a little about how Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks got involved in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding?”
Nia: When I was doing a stage play, Rita Wilson heard about it because it was becoming a bit of a successful run in Los Angeles, and that's rare. Plays don't really work there. She came to it and she said right away, “This should be a movie.” I'd already tried to write the screenplay so I handed it to her like, “Here's a…I don't know… Just read it and maybe you'll like it.” That was the screenplay they bought. My actual first draft is what they bought. Isn't that nuts?

She sent Tom Hanks to the very next show. He called me and said that they're going to make it into a movie.

I heard that you received a letter from Tom Hanks after he saw the play?
Nia: Yes. He came to the show and he didn't stay afterwards so I thought, “Oh, okay, I guess I'm not going to meet him.” I did eventually meet him but he sent me a letter two days later saying, “Sorry I couldn't stay but my daughter had school in the morning." I loved so much that he had to go home to drive his daughter around. So normal!

And he said, “Thank you for this story that I know by experience to be true,” because he had married Rita and he'd been swallowed up into this big fat Greek family himself.

John: He's a big wuss (laughing). He's one of the sweetest wusses you'll ever meet. I never meet a sweeter wuss. He's a family guy, rides his bike around Santa Monica, has more money than any of us could ever dream of, and drives a little PT Cruiser. He's just great.
Nia: One of the things I think is great is when you first meet him - or now that I've introduced him to friends - is he gives you a second to just get used to it. Because you can't believe you're actually meeting Tom Hanks and he just kind of waits, gives you a second, and then you have the most normal conversation you've ever had with a human being in your entire life. He is very normal. He strives to retain his normalcy because you have to live life to play life. If he was just jetting around in limos and private jets, there's no way he could portray his characters so truly. He is that guy.

They have a very normal life. He just drives to work. He doesn't expect, when we're looking at something, to go, "I'm here. Please present me with the latest marketing campaigns for 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding.' " He's just very normal.

So you never felt any pressure working with Tom Hanks or his company while making this film?
Nia: I never felt pressure; I only felt support.

You were actively involved in casting John, but how closely were you involved in casting the supporting roles?
Nia: They let me be in on everything - everything. The editing, the music - everything. They are not normal people (laughing). I had the most beautiful moment where I was watching the orchestra playing Toula's theme, us kissing on the bridge. I just wept. It's just an amazing process.